Elevator From Hell
by Rei Tel Aviv
Summary: Who broke the elevator in NCIS? Something very bad is about to happen, and it's not because Gibbs is holding one of his meetings again. Everyone's getting stuck on the elevator. WARNING: Contents of story are mildly ridiculous. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I only own the crazy plotline, that really doesn't exist.

**Author's Note**: Warning. This story contains high levels of stupidity and has gotten a ribbon for being filled with ridiculous content.

**Chapter 1**: Who broke the elevator?

**()()()()()()()**

Ziva, Tony, and McGee all went over to the elevator. They were supposed to meet Gibbs down at the garage. And he was expecting them.. now. When they got in the elevator, it had only dropped about three feet before it stopped, and went powerless.

"Well.." Ziva said, glancing around and then at Tony and McGee. "That's just peachy.."

"The term is lemony, Zee-vah," Tony told her.

Ziva stared at him. "You are serious?" she asked.

McGee rolled his eyes. "You had it right, Ziva," he told her.

Ziva rolled her eyes, and smacked Tony on the back of the head, much like Gibbs would.

It had only been a few minutes as they all stood in the elevator, waiting for it to move. When it didn't, Tony was the first to start complaining.

"What's your problem?" Ziva asked Tony.

"Think about it, Zee-vah," Tony hissed. "We're stuck in the room of Gibbs.. the holy sanctuary of headslaps.."

Ziva blinked. "Oh no.."

"What?" McGee asked Ziva.

"Now he's got the idea stuck in my head too," Ziva muttered.

McGee laughed, he just couldn't help it. "It's kind of ridiculous you guys, considering Gibbs isn't even in the elevator with us," he told them.

Ziva and Tony both slapped him in the back of the head.

"Never say the worst hasn't happened yet, Probie," Tony told McGee.

"It's like in those movies of yours, yes Tony?" Ziva questioned.

Tony nodded, folding his arms. "Whenever you mention that the worst thing hasn't happened.. it _always_ happens," he told them both. "Keep that in mind Probie, guaranteed we won't be Gibbs free for very long now.."

McGee rolled his eyes and sat down, putting his earphones in his ears and listening to his I-pod.

"Ziva, come on, we can watch movies on mine," Tony told her.

Ziva stared at him, then shrugged and sat down beside him. "What movie?"

"Bondagerella and the Seven Slaves," he told her.

Ziva didn't blink, didn't move, and didn't say a word as she looked at him. "Are you serious? There is no way that is a real movie," she told him. "Is that porn?" she asked when she saw it come on screen.

McGee looked up and walked over, sitting on the other side of Tony and looking down at the screen. "Oh.. whoa.." he said, pulling his earphones out. "That's so wrong.." he said.

All the tilted their heads to the side, as the two people on screen shifted into a very awkward position.

"There is no possible way to have sex and position yourself like that.." Ziva stated. "You would have to break your neck for it to work.."

Tony had to admit. He hadn't watched it. And he'd actually downloaded it by accident. "Is that.. a donkey?" he asked.

Ziva blinked. "What in the world could they do with a.." she started, but cut herself off. Her eyes widened, and she slapped Tony on the back of the head. "You are a very, very sick person," she told him, standing up and sitting on the other side of the elevator, taking McGee's i-pod with her and putting the earphones in. She wasn't sure what was worse. Donkey sex, or McGee's music.

"Holy crap," Tony said. "Zee-vah, you gotta see this," he told her, pausing it.

Ziva glanced up, rolled her eyes, and walked over to him, sitting down again and looking. When Tony hit play, she was still staring five minutes after it had ended. "How could she have seven of those little people on her, all at the same time?" she asked. "There are only three places that your.. toy.. could possibly fit."

Tony and McGee stared at her.

"Don't even think about me as that woman, or I swear, I'll shove this toy," she said, holding up the i-pod. "Up your toys."

Tony and McGee both stood up, and sat down on the other side of the elevator, as far from Ziva as they could.

Ziva sat with a satisfactory smile, playing McGee's music once more.

When the elevator started, they all fell over onto each other. Tony fell onto Ziva, who had fallen on McGee.

"Well.." Tony said. "Two out of seven ain't bad.."

"My god.. Tony, shut up or I _will _ kill you in the next minute if you do not get off of me.." Ziva told him.

After a moment, Tony was still laying on her. Silent as a mouse.

"Get off you idiot!!" Ziva yelled.

"You told me that would only happen if I didn't shut up!" Tony complained.

Gibbs stepped into the elevator and looked down at all of his agents as Abby stepped in beside him. "What is wrong with all of you? Get up and act like agents before I headslap all three of you."

That got them up. Two seconds and suddenly all three were standing again.

"Jethro, a word."

Gibbs glanced up before the doors closed and put his hand between them, opening the doors and stepping out. "You guys better meet me in the garage this time, got it?" he asked them.

Each of the four now in the elevator nodded.

The doors closed. And just a moment later, the elevator turned off again.

"Okay.. that's it," Tony said. "I think we need to hold a meeting now.."

Ziva, McGee and Abby all stared at him.

"You want to hold a meeting, in the place where Gibbs holds his meetings?" Ziva asked.

"That's blasphemy!" Abby stated.

McGee grinned.

Tony rolled his eyes. "I think the question here, ladies and probie," he said. "Is who broke the elevator?"

All at once, each of their eyes turned toward that little emergency stop button.

"Gibbs..." they all muttered simultaneously.

**()()()()()()()()()()()**

**Oh yes. This idiocy will continue.. and possibly, get more idiotic. If possible. Which it is.. trust me.**

**-Rei**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Yeah :P not mine.

**Author's Note**: Just beware, this chapter has been awarded the idiocy award for insanity. You've been warned..

**Chapter Two**:

Abby looked around. "Oh no.. oh no.." she said, waving her arms frantically.

Ziva, McGee, and Tony all looked at her. "What is it?" they all asked simultaneously.

"I have to pee.." she explained.

Ziva backed away to the corner, Tony stepped back with Ziva, and McGee offered Abby an empty bottle.

Abby took the bottle and looked at it for a second, then the rest of them.

"What?" they all asked at once.

Abby frowned. "Turn around.. I can't go with everyone watching!"

Ziva widened her eyes. "You are going to pee in a bottle?" she asked.

Abby shrugged. "When you gotta go.. you gotta go," she said. "Don't tell me you've never had to pee in an awkward place ninja girl?"

"Well.." Ziva began. "Not in a bottle.." she explained.

Abby grinned, then motioned for them all to turn around.

They all did.

_Psssshhhh..._

Ziva twitched.

Tony shuddered.

McGee put his fingers in his ears.

Abby capped the bottle and got herself presentable again. "All better," she said.

Ziva was the first to turn around, chuckling. "What are we going to do while we wait for the elevator to start again?" she asked them.

McGee and Abby shrugged.

Tony grinned. "I have an idea.."

"What?" Ziva asked.

"Spin the bottle."

McGee and Abby backed away.

Ziva raised an eyebrow up at him. "With what? The bottle filled with urine?"

This time Tony shuddered and stepped away. "Ew.. good point," he admitted.

"Any other bright ideas?" McGee asked.

Tony just shrugged, then held up his ipod.

"NO!" McGee and Ziva shouted at once.

Tony shrugged and put the ipod away.

"Oh! Oh!" Abby raised her hand. "I have an idea!"

Everyone stared at her with looks of fear.

"I have cards.." she began. "I brought over.. OLD MAID!"

Ziva frowned. "Where in the world would you keep an old maid on you?"

Tony grinned, McGee laughed, and Abby just stared.

"It's a card game.. Zee-vah," Tony explained.

"I do not know if I wish to play with an old maid.." Ziva said with a raised eyebrow.

Abby waved her hands, :"It's not a real old maid, Ziva! It's just a silly card game.."

"Oh.." Ziva said. "Still.. I'm not very good with.. card games.." she admitted,

"Hmm.." Abby thought. "If I tell you what else I have in my bag.. you're all going to laugh at me.."

Ziva shrugged. "I will not laugh, Abby.."

"Okaaay," Abby said, pulling out a large plastic sheet.

Tony and McGee shrugged away in fear.

"Oh no.. not twister!" they both shouted.

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "Twister?" she asked. "I remember Tony asking if I was playing that with McGee and Palmer at my party.."

Abby grinned. "We're totally playing it!" she said, setting up the mat.

"I the elevator big enough?" Tony asked.

McGee shook his head. "There's no possible way."

Strangely. The mat fit.

"Weird.." Tony and McGee said.

Ziva blinked. "Why.. how big is a normal.. twister?" she asked.

Tony pointed down and Ziva looked.

"Oh.." Ziva said. "So it is not very large at all?" she asked.

McGee laughed.

"Come over and I'll show you how big it really is.."

Abby giggled and Ziva smiled.

McGee just looked shocked.

"What?" Ziva said. "The twister board?"

Tony nodded. "Yes.. the twister board."

_CRASH!_

"What the.." Tony yelled.

They all looked at what fell in the middle of the twister board.

"KATE?" they all yelled. Except for Ziva. Ziva seemed confused.

Kate looked around. "Uh.. hi guys.."

"You're.. dead.." McGee said.

Kate shook her head. "Nah," she told him. "Witness protection."

"What were you doing on top of the elevator?" Abby asked.

"Who would think to look for me there?" Kate asked.

"Touche.." Ziva and Tony stated simultaneously.

"Whose up for that movie now?"

"NO!!" Ziva and McGee said again.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()**

**So, that's chapter two! Welcome home Kate! Well.. I guess technically she's been home a while if that's where she's been staying. Well, stay tuned for more idiocy, as the story SHALL continue!**

**-Rei**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: I had a bit of writer's block. Then I moved! Then I forgot. Sorry everyone! :( Here's an apology chapter with extra funniness.

**Chapter 3**: TwiNozzo and Wii

"How do you play a twister?" Ziva asked. "Is it like a dance?"

Kate smiled.

Tony grinned, "Well.. come here. I'll show you."

Ziva's eyes narrowed. "Is that another molested joke?"

"Perverted," Tony corrected. "But molested sounds cool too," he said quickly when Ziva eyed him down.

Abby giggled and hugged Kate before taking out the spinner. "Okay Ziva, here's the rules. When I spin this, you guys all go in an order. Like.. put your left hand on yellow. And you can't move that body part until your told to put it on another color!"

Ziva stared. "What body parts?" she asked.

"Just your hands and feet!" Abby said with a grin.

"Unless you play TwiNozzo."

Everyone looked at Kate.

"Strip-twister."

Ziva cocked an eyebrow up. "How does THAT work?" she questioned.

"Every time you fall, or move when you're not suppose to, you have to remove a piece of clothing, which the person winning chooses. Until you have only one person who hasn't removed clothes, the spinner picks what they take off," Kate explained casually.

DiNozzo stared at her. "And you named this game after me?"

McGee was grinning along with Abby.

"Sounds like your kind of game," Ziva said with a shrug.

Kate smiled innocently.

"When did you get so devious?" Tony asked in shock.

"Let's play!" Abby said. "I'm the spinner!"

Ziva frowned. "Why can I not be the spinner? I should get to watch a game before I have to play."

Tony grinned, pushing Ziva to one corner of the mat. "No way, ninja chick. You're playing."

Kate glanced around. "Wait, you expect me to play?"

"You made it," McGee said.

"You play it," Tony finished.

Ziva and Kate both looked at each other. Neither one wanted to play.

"Okay Ziva!" Abby called out.

"Wait, why do I go first?!" Ziva asked with an even bigger frown.

"Left leg green!"

Ziva frowned and put her foot on green. "This is ridiculous.."

**()()()()()()**

_30 minutes later.._

Ziva was upside down in the bridge position, and yet to removed one article of clothing. McGee was in his underwear, Tony had boxers and a white t-shirt on, and all Kate had taken off was a jacket. Kate had only fallen because Tony had knocked into her.

Suddenly the doors to the elevator opened.

"What the hell?"

Ziva stood immediately, Kate was right behind her, Tony and McGee were up last.

"Gibbs.." Ziva started. "Uh.. I can explain."

"Oddly.. I expect this of DiNozzo, maybe McGee, definitely Abby, but Ziva?" Gibbs asked with his eyebrow raised up. Suddenly he noticed Kate. "Kate?"

Kate grinned. "I was allowed to come home a while ago, but they kept giving my letter of freedom to the woman in the other elevator!" she explained casually.

Gibbs eyes narrowed as he stared at all of them. "McGee.. get dressed."

"Uh.. yes boss."

Gibbs watched as McGee grabbed his clothes and ran out of the elevator. "You too DiNozzo."

Tony followed McGee.

Gibbs let the doors to the elevator close as he watch Kate put on her jacket, and Abby put the twister board back in her obese bag.

When the elevator stopped again, Ziva seemed unfazed, Kate just shrugged, and Abby giggled.

"What happened?" Gibbs said.

"Tony says you broke the elevator."

Gibbs stared at Ziva incredulously.

"Not that I believe him?" she retracted quickly.

"What do we do?" Gibbs finally asked.

Abby grinned. "Play a game?"

"Not twister!!" Kate and Ziva said at the same time.

Gibbs eyed Abby.

"I have other games.." Abby pouted.

Ziva sighed. "What games, Abby?"

Abby giggled. "Watch this!"

Ziva, Kate and Gibbs watched in utter amazement and bafflement as told them to turn around. There was now a TV on the wall of the elevator with a Wii attached.

"How the hell.." Gibbs started to say.

"Where did _that_ come from?" Kate asked.

"What is it?" Ziva asked.

Abby grinned. "It's Wii!"

"Us?" Ziva asked.

"No Wii!" Abby told her.

"Why we and not us?" Ziva asked in pure bafflement.

Abby groaned. "No, it's a game system, Ziva, called the Nintendo Wii," she explained.

"Oh.." Ziva said. "Odd."

"How did it get here?" Kate asked again.

"I ordered it on e-bay!" Abby said, holding her phone out.

Gibbs stared. "How did it get in here?"

Abby pointed up.

Sure enough, they were all staring at a big hold in the ceiling of the elevator where a hook was retracting.

"Whoa.." Kate said.

"How do you play?" Ziva said, staring at the machine.

Abby turned it on. "Look! There's Gibbs! Ziva, Tony, Me, McGee, Kate..." she mumbled. "I had them pre-program us."

"You can do that?" Kate asked.

"Hah!" Abby said. "_I_ can do anything."

Ziva picked up the remote and started playing bowling. "This does not make sense, how do I throw it?"

"Move your hand like your really bowling?"

Ziva did. Nothing happened.

"Oh yeah, press the B button!"

Ziva pressed it and threw. The ball went backwards. "What the hell?"

"Oh! Sorry! Hold it down!"

Ziva tried again, this time holding down the B button. Now the arm swung, but again the ball went nowhere. "This game does not make any sense to me.."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Let go of the button when you're read to throw the ball."

Gibbs took the controller. "Like this," he said, throwing a strike.

The three women stared at him.

"Holy crap, Gibbs," Abby said. "You did something new-age and with an electronic device!"

**()()()()()()()()**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! More to come, I promise!**

**-Rei**


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